Work-in-Progress Wednesday #019

It is amazing, my habits, how difficult I make things for myself, the worries.

My vacation last week was awesome, and I felt very inspired by my surroundings, and the break from work was also refreshing, and I even felt like I got some perspective on things at home (like realizing Columbus, Ohio, is far from the middle of nowhere). I also read a lot of good blog posts about research, and I was feeling excited, doing a little dance in my chair, thinking "Research sounds like fun. I want to continue my Outlaw Song novel. I'm going to complete this old-timey epic, whoo!"

And this past week at work I thought about writing. And I read a great post by Davin over at the Literary Lab about revising, which I don't like to do (I mean I don't like revising, not I don't like reading great blog posts), even though that is the meat of writing, and many of the comments put revising in perspective, and I thought, "Hey, that sounds pretty interesting. I am going to revise Outlaw Song. And I will have fun doing it!"

Then last night at home, trying to do freelance work but not able to sit still, I thought, "The time has come! I will open the manuscript and cut out all the crappy bits! I am not afraid!"

I opened the ms. which is over 100,000 words right now, and I read the last few sentences (written near midnight during last NaNoWriMo), and of course they sucked, and then I thought about all in that ms. that probably sucks, and I was immediately deflated. So I thought I'd share that despairing feeling with all of you, ha ha.


Right now I'm reading Procrastination: Why You Do It, What to Do About It Now. (yes, I have problems, and yes, lately I like reading books about them) I started it over a month ago, then procrastinated on reading it, and now I'm back. The first couple chapters talk about procrastination's link to perfectionism, and the fear of failure, and the fear of success. I feel like I belong in almost every scenario of the book. I shake my head at the ridiculous ways the people mentioned in the book think, but I also know I think in those ridiculous ways.

Take writing/revising. As you can see if you've been reading this blog, I do a lot of talking/worrying about writing and revising, but not a lot of actual writing and changing of words. I have these crazy thoughts that everything I write must be perfect, and so I write nothing in fear I'll write something horrible. EVEN WHEN I KNOW ANY WRITING IS FINE, I ALSO THINK IT'S HORRIBLE. I put it off and think, "Well, if I'd really given myself the time, I'd totally be published by now." It's all my own fault, but somehow making not writing my own fault is better than not writing. (?) Yeah, I don't get it either, but it's how I think.

There is also the fear of success, I guess. What if I do finish a novel and I do query it and I do get an agent, and suddenly it's harder and more work and I can't cut it? Or, what if getting an agent or being published doesn't solve my life? What if I don't Completely Change Into a Perfect Person upon publication? Yeah, I know. I have real things to be afraid of.

And THEN! I came to a huge realization. I have been putting off really writing while dragging my feet for so long because somehow it's like who I am. This worry and anxiety I keep. And, if I just brush all that aside and stop obsessing and start writing at a real pace and don't analyze it too much, well... what would I worry about then? And do I even deserve to bring my writing life to that level? I have wasted all these years; maybe I don't deserve to relax about writing and Just Do It. Because if I can change now, by giving my writing a fair go (and not just thinking about it and writing sort-of-updates each Wednesday), then it's like, why didn't I just do that before? Why did I wait so long to chill out? And that is another kind of failure, in my mind, not "having realizations about my writing and getting on with it" at an earlier time in my life. Because you know, if I had quit with all the whining years ago, I'd be published by now! (she says)

Well, if I've lost any of you after that, I'm not surprised. It is tedious to me to keep blabbing on and on about all this (in a public forum, no less) even as I can't stop blabbing on and on about it.

I hope some of you understand where I'm coming from. Writers are supposed to be crazy, right?

I just have to get over myself. These worries and loops-of-excuses in my mind are silly, and they're not helping, and I must STOP. It's just writing, after all. Not like my house will burn down if the words don't come out right. (Right?)

Going back to the Outlaw Song ms. now. Not going to let my thoughts kick my butt.

Save Ohio's Libraries!

I just learned last night (via Leah on facebook) that Gov. Strickland is proposing to cut 50% of funding for Ohio public libraries. This will cut staff and library hours and even branches!

He made the proposal on June 19, and they have to decide by June 30, so there isn't much time for action.

Please visit the Ohio Library Council's Web site for details.

If you or anyone you know lives in Ohio, please contact your legislators. Or, even if you just love libraries, tell Ohio legislators, especially Strickland, that you don't support cutting library funds!

I love the library! Every time I go there it's happiness. And libraries are an invaluable resource to all communities.

Thanks for helping!

Blog Chain: Research, Where Do I Even Begin?

Blog chain time has come around quickly again, and Kat started a discussion on research. She asked,

How do you do research for your settings, your story, and your characters' quirks? What interesting tidbits about yourself and the world you live in have you learned along the way?

Research, research... I'm on a trip in and around the Appalachian Mountains right now. The point isn't for research, but I have kept my mind open to story ideas for my novel Outlaw Song. And, I've been getting lots of inspiration from the forest-y and mountainous surroundings, but I wouldn't call any of that research.


But could I? Is being somewhere new and paying attention to how it could affect my stories considered research? Or am I supposed to go to a library and read books and interview strangers to ask them what something is or was like?

I didn't do any research for my first novel because it was set in some Midwestern town in present day with three characters who were all ages I've been. And my next four novels were written during NaNoWriMo, and I certainly wasn't going to stop and worry about research then.

Now, I have this Outlaw Song novel I'm working on, and I think it takes place sometime between 1850 and 1920 (I'm hoping it'll be an epic), and I think it takes place in our around the Appalachian Mountains, and I want it to have Indians in it, and religion, and lots of death, but I don't want to get too historical fiction with it. Like, I don't want to take a character or event from time and write about it. I just want to write about fictional characters and places that could have existed in this time and place. My husband says (yes, I don't know history. I have to ask him everything) the Civil War happened around this time period and in this place, but I don't want to write a novel about the Civil War. Maybe the war can serve as a backdrop. I don't know. You see? I have a hard time with real times and places. I don't want someone to read this and go, "Hey! That didn't happen in this place!" But, again, I don't want to write historical fiction, so I don't know how much it matters.

So, research. It's like the more I think about, or even when I start to do it, it just makes me more unsure about my story, and less confident about what I can actually write about.

To answer Kat's first question, then, I research by trying to pay attention to what's around me and writing down my ideas (as opposed to thinking I'll remember them forever and then being sad in 10 minutes when they're gone). I would like to think that as I figure out Outlaw Song more, I'll get deeper into research if need be. But, I'm trying not to let research scare me right now so that I can just get my characters and the plot down firmly.

As for interesting tidbits about myself and the world... um... I'll get back to you on that after I've actually finished a novel that I researched.

Question for you all: Does research ever trip you up? Does it paralyze your story because you're afraid of getting everything right?

For more on this topic, Elana posted her thoughts on the "R-word" before me, and Sandra will be up next.

Work-in-Progress Wednesday #018

This past week I haven't gotten much writing done because I've been on vacation! We (my husband and our friend from CA) left Friday night and made it out of Ohio to stay in London, KY. But, before we got to Kentucky, we stopped in West Chester, OH, to return a coffee table to IKEA. I had tried building it, but the legs needed to face a certain way to attach the lower shelf, and both my husband and I couldn't tighten the legs and put them in the right position. And, the table was smaller than I wanted it to be, after I got it in the room. Anyway, I tried to return it, and the woman would not let me! Their return policy says if you're not completely satisfied and you have the receipt and original packaging, you can return an item, but the customer service woman said I had already built it (not true), and then she took it in the back room and forced the legs on the table, and then there were scuff marks on it (obviously they used some kind of wrench or vice), and she said it was built, so she wouldn't accept the return. I said I couldn't fit it in the car that way, because we were on vacation and driving through (I live 2 hours from IKEA), and I said I didn't want it, and I wouldn't be able to put it back together on my own, and it was scuffed now, and I wasn't completely satisfied so they had to honor the return, and she said no, no, no. I said I have spent thousands of dollars at IKEA and she was going to lose a customer, and she didn't care. So I left the table there and walked away. I was so mad! I love IKEA! At least, I used to. Now I don't feel comfortable buying furniture from them anymore, and I'm certainly angry at that store's customer service. So, I'm going to call my credit card company and dispute the charge, and I'm going to email corporate.

Anyway, but the rest of the trip has been good. We saw the location of the first-ever Kentucky Fried Chicken. We hiked a bit on the Cumberland Gap. Then we drove into Gatlinburg and went to a Mirror Maze and the Ripley's Believe-It-or-Not Musemu, and then the next day.... I met Kate! I knew she lived in Knoxville, and I had messaged her and said I was going to be nearby, so we met at a Starbucks and chatted for an hour or so. It was really great to meet a blogger I've been following, and she is super nice! Here we are outside the Starbucks.Kate is on the left in the white shirt, and I'm the one in sunglasses. Yay! Thank goodness for summer and road trips and meeting friends from the Internet!

As I said last week, because I've been driving around Appalachia, I've been keeping my imagination open for my novel-in-progress Outlaw Song. I think I have maybe, finally, figured out a time and place for the novel, and I also think I've worked out some major plot points in my mind.

In the last day and a half we've also driven along the Blue Ridge Parkway, and it has been very rainy and foggy and lonely and isolated, and I've been thinking of a bunch of creepy scenarios, and I've been writing down horror/paranormal ideas for new stories. So, I haven't been writing a lot, but I've been brainstorming and taking notes.


See? Kind of dark and misty and eerie. I keep expecting to be run off the road by a deranged murderer or attacked by radioactive black bears. Or, what if the car breaks down and we get out of the car and, for some reason, all walk in separate directions, and after 50 feet, we're lost in the fog and never see each other again? See? Lots of story ideas on this trip.

How about you? Have you been inspired by anything in the last week?

Work-in-Progress Wednesday #017

Wednesday again! How the days fly by. I've been really busy this last week with work and more work. I am totally jealous of all you people on summer break. I wish I were still a student. Or taught. Or something that gave me my summers off. J-E-A-L-O-U-S.


Also, a friend of ours is staying with us all of June, so that is a distraction, and Friday night we're leaving to go explore Appalachia. We're hitting 5 states, and I don't know what we're going to see. We'll just drive around and stop at any promising place. I'm thinking I will get some inspiration for my 2005/2008 NaNo novel Outlaw Song (working title). I also hope I get a lot of reading and writing done in the car.

I went to Barnes & Noble again today, and I wrote 3 pages in longhand of my short story "The House That Sucked" (also working title). I wrote using my new fountain pen! It came in the mail a couple days ago, and it is awesome. Well, except for looking purple sometimes, and not silver-blue like the web site said, it's awesome. It writes sooooo smoothly and easily. And I got the extra fine nib, and it doesn't leak through regular notebook paper. It hasn't scratched or skipped at all. Hooray! Here's a photo:



And! I ordered something else the other day (ahem, I've been on a bit of a spending spree), and I'll show it to you when it arrives, but it is also for writing, and I'm excited about it.

I know, I know, I don't need to buy a bunch of stuff in order to write, but it's still fun. And very motivating. And it's working, because I've been writing, and I'm having a good time doing it.

How has your writing week been?

Of course, I did not have the brilliant idea for WiP Wednesdays. They were started by the now-revising Kate, and you can read about the beginning here.

Blog Chain: I Love You, I Love You Not

Huh. I started writing this post earlier today, and now it's gone. THIS MAKE ANNIE ANGRY! ANNIE SMASH BLOGGER!!

Can you feel the love? Well, I can't. After reading everyone's posts in this blog chain, I'm realizing just how much romance is missing from my reading and writing life.

Sandra started the chain with many questions about romance in fiction:

Do you write romantic relationships in your books? If so, what do you do to show the attraction between your characters? What problems do your characters encounter? What qualities do you think make a romantic relationship work in fiction? If you wish, feel free to include examples of your favorite couples.

Elana posted before me, in which she said I'll have something impressive to add to this discussion (not likely), and after me is ... hey, I'm last! Probably for the best, as it sounds like most everyone else is a romantic, but I don't think I am. What this says about my relationship, I don't know. Let's not discuss that. (Seriously, though, my 3rd anniversary is tomorrow, yay!)

On to the topic. Um, no, I don't really think I write romantic relationships in my stories. I shy away from romance in my stories. For some reason, I'm not letting my characters feel those feelings. Maybe it has something to do with the romeo/juliet relationship I had in high school, when I was a freshman in love with a senior guy, and of course my parents didn't approve. So of course this guy and I did everything we could to be together, which involved a lot of being grounded and secrecy and more of me being grounded. We wrote hundreds of letters to each other during the one year we were in school together and after he graduated and moved away. Later those letters, which I hid in a hollowed-out stuffed bear, were found by my mom (after she found, then destroyed (!) my journal), followed by more grounding. And me literally counting the days till I turned 18 and could run away with my true love. Then I did turn 18, asked my parents if I could see this boy again, and they let him come over (he had to stay in the yard), and we lasted maybe another month till I was over it. Maybe it was just me getting older and ready for college. Maybe I was exhausted from all that forbidden love. Maybe it was because I was finally allowed to be with him. Whatever it was, it worked out for the best, BUT I do often think that all my romantic energies were used up in that relationship, and now I just don't care. So no romance for my characters! Mwuhahaha!!! (although, maybe I can write a story based on my story.... hmmm....)

One of the biggest problems my characters encounter is that they don't have any romance in their lives, and I'm starting to see that those relationships are great for plotting and moving a story forward, which is maybe also why my characters get so stuck. Maybe we all need couples therapy together. And, because my characters aren't experiencing any love, it's really easy for them to skip town when things get difficult, because they have no ties to anyone, but running away from problems isn't good conflict. Another reason why I don't plot well.

There have been some couples I've read about in the past that I really loved. Clare and Henry in THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE. Richard and Kahlan in WIZARD'S FIRST RULE. And clearly I loved Romeo and Juliet. But later in life I've been more intrigued by the relationships that end in affairs or heartache. Or when half of the couple dies. My husband and I like to watch those Bachelor/Bachelorette reality shows. He said his favorite part is seeing when someone is rejected and their heart is broken on camera.

Yup. That's what I have to say about romance in fiction. Maybe you all can throw some earth-shattering romantic titles my way, and I can find my high school self, and we can curl up with a book together, and I can learn how to give my own characters some romance in their lives.

Work-in-Progress Wednesday #016

It's WiP-itty Wednesday!
Um, yeah.


On this Wednesday I went to Barnes and Noble on my lunch break and wrote! Just some freewriting. Not a big deal. But writing it was.

And this morning I got more comments on my short story from another critique group member. She thought I started off with a good character and setting, but she thought the plot of the story should go in THIS way, when in reality I was going for something completely different in THAT way, which obviously I didn't get across to her at all. And, her suggestions were good, so I might try to marry the two ideas and go BOTH ways. We'll see. The next critique meeting is June 28, which maybe sounds like ages of time to some of you, but for a procrastinator, it's like tomorrow. As in, normally I'd wait till June 27 to write anything. I will ask these WiP Wednesdays to keep me accountable so that doesn't happen.

My other project this week is... finding shiny new pens! So, I was cleaning out my room a couple weeks ago, and I found some beautiful pens I ordered from Levenger over the last several years. One's a ballpoint (with stand)









and one's a rollerball.









I also found a sample pack of rollerball refills, and I was playing with them, and now I love my rollerball! And then I thought, I have a fountain pen that I ordered from them like 7 years ago,










but I couldn't find the ink cartridges even though I swore I've been staring at them on my desk every day for the last year! Doesn't matter. When I wanted them, they were gone. So I ordered a cartridge converter and a 16-pack of colorful ink cartridges. I wanted the cartridge converter because I've amassed a lot of ink bottles over the years.









So finally yesterday the new cartridges and converter came in the mail, and I was trying out the pen, and it doesn't work! Well, it works for like 5 lines. And then it gets scratchy. And then it stops writing altogether. So I have to get the nib wet. And play with the ink. And draw circles all over the notebook trying to get it to work. It's frustrating. Writing longhand shouldn't be frustrating. It should be smooth and flowing and inspiring.

So then I thought maybe I needed a more expensive fountain pen from Levenger, but I got worried because if one of theirs doesn't work, will others? And I read the reviews on the site of their more expensive pens, and about a third of the people had the same problems I did. Not good odds. I'm not going to spend $60 on a pen that makes me frustrated and scream at it.

Now I'm looking at this pen. It's only like $30. People say it writes wonderfully and is durable. I went to a local mall tonight to check it out, and the fountain pen store that I swore was there is gone! (What is it about fountain pen paraphernalia that is there until I want it, then vanishes?) Grr! I guess I will just order the pen online. If it skips at all, I'm sending it back.

Maybe it's dumb, all this effort and money for a pen. But I love pens! And fountain pens seem so romantic. And I have pretty inks. And it will make me smile to have ink-stained fingers. And maybe this is another procrastinating trick on my part, the pen journey, but so what! The end result will be a shiny, new writing instrument, and that's always nice.

Do you have a favorite writing instrument? Do you ever go to great lengths to find a favorite writing instrument? Anyone out there use a fountain pen? What do you recommend?

It's June!

Yup. June it is. The first of a new month, and a summer month at that. I love the firsts of months. I feel like there is so much possibility, a whole, fresh month to get all kinds of things accomplished.


Like writing things! I revised my short story a little bit yesterday. I am adding new scenes and trying to make everything longer and more complex. It's really too short right now, under 5,000 words. It is exciting to think of the world that awaits me in that story.

I am dangerously close to being completely caught up with my freelance work, which means more time for writing as I won't be using my time for catch-up. I'm thinking pretty soon I will become a multiple-projects girl, doing some freewriting here, revising the short story there, getting back to my YA WiP in bits and pieces, maybe for just a few minutes each day. I would also like to do some journaling.

You see? Firsts of months are very inspiring. I'm so inspired that I'm going to plow through my freelance work right now so that I have worry-free writing time tonight.

Happy June 1st!