Boo.
I got home today and checked my online status for that writing program I applied to in December, and I did not get in.
This was to Ohio State, for their three year MFA program. I wanted to go because I live right by there, and it's a long program, and fully funded! I've been reading the MFA blogs for months now, and I heard they had over 200 applicants for 15 spots. But, a lot of programs had over 500 applicants for like 6 spots. So it wasn't the most competitive program to which I could've applied.
Anyway, I suspected a few weeks ago that I didn't get in, but now it's been confirmed. I'm disappointed, because who wants to be rejected. I really want my MFA someday, and I also was hoping to be back in school again. I love school!
But now I have established this new writing community, and I'm working on getting published. I know I don't need an MFA to get published. It's just something I want for me! I'll apply again another year. Probably not to OSU. There are lots of great programs all over the country. Maybe one of them will decide where I move next.
Heh. I probably really won't get anything done this weekend now. :)
Friday, March 27, 2009
I Fool Myself Each Weekend
So.
It's Friday, and for that reason alone I should be in better spirits. But I'm feeling bummed.
I got maybe 3 hours' sleep last night, partly because I had coffee after 7pm, and partly because I was freaking out and feeling down on myself last night for not having more of a productive day.
Something new I get to do now is telecommute on Thursdays (thank you, job!). I am still working my 8 hours, obviously, but the time it normally takes to get ready for work and be on the road is gone, which means I have more time in my day. Working at home also allows me to do something quick like run downstairs and put in a load of laundry. So on Wednesday night I had grand plans of having a very productive Thursday. And I just didn't. I procrastinated. There was too much thinking and not enough doing. And as it got later, and even as I was "off the clock" and back into my regular evening, I wasn't doing anything. Except maybe watching too much TV. I frittered my glorious day away. Frittered!
And now it's nearly the weekend. And I do this foolish thing every weekend, EVERY weekend for like the last 10 years at least, where I think, "Oh my! A weekend! Such a long span of days in which to complete all my projects!" But 99% of the time I spend my weekends sleeping, watching TV, getting sucked into the Internet, wandering around stores, or even just staring at the wall. Or ceiling. I have many daydreaming moments. Except in these moments I'm thinking of all the stuff I could/should be doing, not like, you know, having fun daydreams.
It just makes me mad. I don't know how I can fool myself at the start of every weekend, or day off or vacation or whatever. I don't know why I think I'm going to suddenly change my personality overnight and be Productivity Girl. But I always have that hope! Every Friday I drive home thinking, "The endless-possibilities weekend!" And then suddenly it's Sunday night and I'm scrambling to get all my chores done.
And I don't even have kids. I am the only one using up my time. I don't know how you people with kids accomplish anything. It is amazing and wondrous to me.
What does this have to do with writing? I guess that's another thing I want to be doing more but am not alway doing. And, I really want to be reading more. That's part of writing, methinks.
Today I read Elana's post she wrote yesterday on confidence, on the QT blog. I feel like for the past several weeks, my confidence in myself as an author has been good. But I guess I could use a confidence boost in myself as everything else. Maybe, like WIP Wednesdays, I'll keep a personal journal of each week's progress, and then I'll see it happening, and then I'll believe in myself, instead of believing in my downer thoughts.
And then as each new weekend rolls around, I'll have the confidence and stamina to get a few things done and feel good about myself come Sunday night.
Hmm... the weekend is now looking a little brighter, but in a realistic way.
It's Friday, and for that reason alone I should be in better spirits. But I'm feeling bummed.
I got maybe 3 hours' sleep last night, partly because I had coffee after 7pm, and partly because I was freaking out and feeling down on myself last night for not having more of a productive day.
Something new I get to do now is telecommute on Thursdays (thank you, job!). I am still working my 8 hours, obviously, but the time it normally takes to get ready for work and be on the road is gone, which means I have more time in my day. Working at home also allows me to do something quick like run downstairs and put in a load of laundry. So on Wednesday night I had grand plans of having a very productive Thursday. And I just didn't. I procrastinated. There was too much thinking and not enough doing. And as it got later, and even as I was "off the clock" and back into my regular evening, I wasn't doing anything. Except maybe watching too much TV. I frittered my glorious day away. Frittered!
And now it's nearly the weekend. And I do this foolish thing every weekend, EVERY weekend for like the last 10 years at least, where I think, "Oh my! A weekend! Such a long span of days in which to complete all my projects!" But 99% of the time I spend my weekends sleeping, watching TV, getting sucked into the Internet, wandering around stores, or even just staring at the wall. Or ceiling. I have many daydreaming moments. Except in these moments I'm thinking of all the stuff I could/should be doing, not like, you know, having fun daydreams.
It just makes me mad. I don't know how I can fool myself at the start of every weekend, or day off or vacation or whatever. I don't know why I think I'm going to suddenly change my personality overnight and be Productivity Girl. But I always have that hope! Every Friday I drive home thinking, "The endless-possibilities weekend!" And then suddenly it's Sunday night and I'm scrambling to get all my chores done.
And I don't even have kids. I am the only one using up my time. I don't know how you people with kids accomplish anything. It is amazing and wondrous to me.
What does this have to do with writing? I guess that's another thing I want to be doing more but am not alway doing. And, I really want to be reading more. That's part of writing, methinks.
Today I read Elana's post she wrote yesterday on confidence, on the QT blog. I feel like for the past several weeks, my confidence in myself as an author has been good. But I guess I could use a confidence boost in myself as everything else. Maybe, like WIP Wednesdays, I'll keep a personal journal of each week's progress, and then I'll see it happening, and then I'll believe in myself, instead of believing in my downer thoughts.
And then as each new weekend rolls around, I'll have the confidence and stamina to get a few things done and feel good about myself come Sunday night.
Hmm... the weekend is now looking a little brighter, but in a realistic way.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Work-in-Progress Wednesday #006
Someday I will have a Work-in-Progress Wednesday #100. (!) That would be about two-ish years from now? Think of all the writing I will get done between now and then!
Last week, I didn't do much writing, just on Sunday. But I got through 30 pages that day, and the novel is really chugging along now (because the middle has so many exciting bits), and I think in two weeks I should be done with the read-through. I have 65 pages left to read.
After that, the rewrites will begin! I was talking to Carolyn about my characters, and how when I started the novel I wanted to have multiple characters with multiple POVs, but now I'm thinking one character is outshining the others, and she suggested I just stick with that one character and tell the story from her point of view. I may do this. I'll give it a try. I think I'll have to invent some more scenes for her, though.
I also thought about a job change for my oldest main character, and it could really mess things up, in a good way.
That's pretty much the update for this week. How are your projects coming along?
Last week, I didn't do much writing, just on Sunday. But I got through 30 pages that day, and the novel is really chugging along now (because the middle has so many exciting bits), and I think in two weeks I should be done with the read-through. I have 65 pages left to read.
After that, the rewrites will begin! I was talking to Carolyn about my characters, and how when I started the novel I wanted to have multiple characters with multiple POVs, but now I'm thinking one character is outshining the others, and she suggested I just stick with that one character and tell the story from her point of view. I may do this. I'll give it a try. I think I'll have to invent some more scenes for her, though.
I also thought about a job change for my oldest main character, and it could really mess things up, in a good way.
That's pretty much the update for this week. How are your projects coming along?
Monday, March 23, 2009
Telling Others' Stories
I had a really good writing session with Carolyn yesterday. I'm not sure how many pages I went through, but I'm getting into the heart of the story, so it's moving along quickly. I also had an idea for a career change for my oldest main character, and I think it will add a lot to him and to the subplots of the story. I'm pretty excited about it and think it will ramp up the conflict.
Speaking of story ideas, I'm sure as writers many of you have heard crazy or amazing stories from friends and family, and probably you've thought, "I totally need to write that story someday."
Well, what do you do if the story is kind of a big deal, and it's affecting the person in ways you can't really know because you're not that person, but you have a pretty good idea because you're hearing a lot of the story, and of course you have an imagination.
Like, are any stories off limits? Or, do you feel the need to change the story so much to not offend the person from which it came? If you do write someone else's story, do you have to ask permission first? What if you write it and they read it but get upset or don't want it written or say, "You have no idea about this!"
Please let me know your thoughts about telling other people's stories. Have you ever done it? What were the consequences? Because I have a good one, from someone in my family, but I don't want to proceed if I'm going to hurt someone's feelings. And maybe you're thinking, "Just ask the person!" but I don't know about that. Sometimes people don't say what they mean.
Speaking of story ideas, I'm sure as writers many of you have heard crazy or amazing stories from friends and family, and probably you've thought, "I totally need to write that story someday."
Well, what do you do if the story is kind of a big deal, and it's affecting the person in ways you can't really know because you're not that person, but you have a pretty good idea because you're hearing a lot of the story, and of course you have an imagination.
Like, are any stories off limits? Or, do you feel the need to change the story so much to not offend the person from which it came? If you do write someone else's story, do you have to ask permission first? What if you write it and they read it but get upset or don't want it written or say, "You have no idea about this!"
Please let me know your thoughts about telling other people's stories. Have you ever done it? What were the consequences? Because I have a good one, from someone in my family, but I don't want to proceed if I'm going to hurt someone's feelings. And maybe you're thinking, "Just ask the person!" but I don't know about that. Sometimes people don't say what they mean.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Work in Progress Wednesday #005
Yay, it's time again for the best part of Wednesday, talking about my wip.
I think this past week I only wrote on two days. But, one of those days was Sunday when I met up with Carolyn, and I put in an hour and 20 minutes of editing. Whoo hoo! I'm now on p. 99 of 192, which means I did 20 pages last week. Um, slow but steady?
I did take all of your advice (thanks!) and keep going with the read-through, taking notes and getting back into the story. This novel has three main characters, though two are more main than the one, and one of those I had considered my main main. (Um, confused yet?) But now I am wondering if the youngest character could be the main main. She was really easy to write, and I feel like her scenes are more developed and emotionally powerful than the other two characters' scenes. I guess that is another thing for me to ponder in the back of my mind.
And, I thought about how with my middle character I can further explore and develop a relationship he has a with a long-time neighborhood friend, who happens to be a girl... (ow! ow!)
Anyway, I have many options for exciting subplots , and it's just nice to know I didn't write myself into any holes, back in the day.
Kate today talked about levels of rewrites, and I'd say my novel is in it's third stage. Of course there was the first draft (which is the zero stage), which I wrote over a period of... (counting on fingers) 9 months (like a baby!), and then in the last 2-3 weeks before it was due was the 1st stage of the rewrite, where I put it all together, read it, cut it all down, and reorganized it. Then, because I had a deadline, I quickly went through the 2nd stage of the draft, filling in holes and polishing it off because it had to look like a real novel in order to get a good grade. And that I accomplished over a 3-day weekend. I stayed at my boyfriend's house (who later became my husband) and locked myself in a tiny room and wrote and cut and fixed and listened to every song on my computer a million times, and then the night before it was due I was in the Writing Center on campus till, I don't know, 5am, reading through all 180-ish pages, checking for typos. I brought it to the copy center as soon as it opened, where I and other seniors talked about how happy and exhausted and proud of ourselves we were. Then I turned it in, smiling deliriously, then went to class, and later that night we all went down to the bar, and I don't remember what happened after that.
Ahh, the memories. Actually, it makes me really happy to remember that story, and all the work I put into the novel, and that I actually got it done on time, and I got an A! (whee) And I really liked my story that day I turned it in, and the three advisors who read it said good things about it, and some of my friends and my sister read it, and they liked it. I think that is my favorite part about writing. Sharing it and seeing what others think. Even if I don't get published someday, I hope to always have a few good critiquing buddies around.
Anyway, I digress. I was talking about levels/layers/stages of rewriting. So, but I consider myself in stage 3 now, as I go back over that quickly-put-together-and-polished draft and fill it out to be the better novel it was always meant to be. I suppose stage 4 will be writing/rewriting the bits I'm making notes on now.
I love this WIP Wednesday thing! Reading others' blogs makes their writing lives seem glamorous, and taking a moment each week to evaluate my own writing process reminds me why I have not given up on writing.
I think this past week I only wrote on two days. But, one of those days was Sunday when I met up with Carolyn, and I put in an hour and 20 minutes of editing. Whoo hoo! I'm now on p. 99 of 192, which means I did 20 pages last week. Um, slow but steady?
I did take all of your advice (thanks!) and keep going with the read-through, taking notes and getting back into the story. This novel has three main characters, though two are more main than the one, and one of those I had considered my main main. (Um, confused yet?) But now I am wondering if the youngest character could be the main main. She was really easy to write, and I feel like her scenes are more developed and emotionally powerful than the other two characters' scenes. I guess that is another thing for me to ponder in the back of my mind.
And, I thought about how with my middle character I can further explore and develop a relationship he has a with a long-time neighborhood friend, who happens to be a girl... (ow! ow!)
Anyway, I have many options for exciting subplots , and it's just nice to know I didn't write myself into any holes, back in the day.
Kate today talked about levels of rewrites, and I'd say my novel is in it's third stage. Of course there was the first draft (which is the zero stage), which I wrote over a period of... (counting on fingers) 9 months (like a baby!), and then in the last 2-3 weeks before it was due was the 1st stage of the rewrite, where I put it all together, read it, cut it all down, and reorganized it. Then, because I had a deadline, I quickly went through the 2nd stage of the draft, filling in holes and polishing it off because it had to look like a real novel in order to get a good grade. And that I accomplished over a 3-day weekend. I stayed at my boyfriend's house (who later became my husband) and locked myself in a tiny room and wrote and cut and fixed and listened to every song on my computer a million times, and then the night before it was due I was in the Writing Center on campus till, I don't know, 5am, reading through all 180-ish pages, checking for typos. I brought it to the copy center as soon as it opened, where I and other seniors talked about how happy and exhausted and proud of ourselves we were. Then I turned it in, smiling deliriously, then went to class, and later that night we all went down to the bar, and I don't remember what happened after that.
Ahh, the memories. Actually, it makes me really happy to remember that story, and all the work I put into the novel, and that I actually got it done on time, and I got an A! (whee) And I really liked my story that day I turned it in, and the three advisors who read it said good things about it, and some of my friends and my sister read it, and they liked it. I think that is my favorite part about writing. Sharing it and seeing what others think. Even if I don't get published someday, I hope to always have a few good critiquing buddies around.
Anyway, I digress. I was talking about levels/layers/stages of rewriting. So, but I consider myself in stage 3 now, as I go back over that quickly-put-together-and-polished draft and fill it out to be the better novel it was always meant to be. I suppose stage 4 will be writing/rewriting the bits I'm making notes on now.
I love this WIP Wednesday thing! Reading others' blogs makes their writing lives seem glamorous, and taking a moment each week to evaluate my own writing process reminds me why I have not given up on writing.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Burning Children's Books???
Oh my gosh! A friend sent me this today, and I'm appalled! Books pre-1985 are precious and different and special, and they hold so much culture!
I can't believe I hadn't heard of this law. It doesn't even make sense to me.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Work in Progress Wednesday #004
Methinks I should've gone back and read post #003 right around Sunday night when I wanted to stop revising forever. I can't believe how easily I forget the joys of writing when the writing isn't joyful.
I didn't write for three days last week (I started up again last night). I didn't even think about the novel. I'm supposed to be thinking about it while I'm away from it, but I guess I'm not in that habit yet. Maybe, at work, I can train myself to think of my wip every time I look at the clock or think how bored I am, waiting for the end of the day. I need some "ah ha" moments that Kate mentions in her blog post today. I think an "ah ha" moment will provide the motivation I need to get... through... the..... REWRITE!
Yes, I have discovered that the line editing has come far enough, and I really need to rewrite some of this thing. Maybe a lot of this thing. The whole thing? No, I think the core is there, but I have read a handful of scenes that make me squirm with a "Meh, that's not quite right" feeling, and there is a major scene that I realized I can make REALLY major, which would probably be a good idea if I ever expect this book to be published.
But it's so scary! Rewriting?! Why, wasn't it perfect the first time? Thank goodness I began writing this novel so long ago. I know writers are supposed to be accustomed to "killing their darlings," but this is hard! *whine* There are some perfect sentences within the pages I need to rewrite, and then no one might ever read those wonderful bits.
I just need to DO it. Stop thinking about doing it. I'll pretend it's NaNoWriMo, and I'll get out a notebook and redo these scenes.
Or! Maybe I should finish going through the whole draft first before I start the rewrite. Then I will have a pile of notes and ideas to get me on my way. I'm on p. 79 of 192. Maybe if I keep going with the rereading and familiarizing myself with the story again, I'll stay excited about it AND be thrilled here and there by my flashes of writing genius. Because that has happened, too. Don't you love it when you read what you wrote, and it makes you genuinely smile or laugh? It's just like, "Yes! I am a literary genius!"
Okay, what do you all think? Keep going as I've done with the line editing and note-taking until the book is read? Or stop where I am and start rewriting?
I didn't write for three days last week (I started up again last night). I didn't even think about the novel. I'm supposed to be thinking about it while I'm away from it, but I guess I'm not in that habit yet. Maybe, at work, I can train myself to think of my wip every time I look at the clock or think how bored I am, waiting for the end of the day. I need some "ah ha" moments that Kate mentions in her blog post today. I think an "ah ha" moment will provide the motivation I need to get... through... the..... REWRITE!
Yes, I have discovered that the line editing has come far enough, and I really need to rewrite some of this thing. Maybe a lot of this thing. The whole thing? No, I think the core is there, but I have read a handful of scenes that make me squirm with a "Meh, that's not quite right" feeling, and there is a major scene that I realized I can make REALLY major, which would probably be a good idea if I ever expect this book to be published.
But it's so scary! Rewriting?! Why, wasn't it perfect the first time? Thank goodness I began writing this novel so long ago. I know writers are supposed to be accustomed to "killing their darlings," but this is hard! *whine* There are some perfect sentences within the pages I need to rewrite, and then no one might ever read those wonderful bits.
I just need to DO it. Stop thinking about doing it. I'll pretend it's NaNoWriMo, and I'll get out a notebook and redo these scenes.
Or! Maybe I should finish going through the whole draft first before I start the rewrite. Then I will have a pile of notes and ideas to get me on my way. I'm on p. 79 of 192. Maybe if I keep going with the rereading and familiarizing myself with the story again, I'll stay excited about it AND be thrilled here and there by my flashes of writing genius. Because that has happened, too. Don't you love it when you read what you wrote, and it makes you genuinely smile or laugh? It's just like, "Yes! I am a literary genius!"
Okay, what do you all think? Keep going as I've done with the line editing and note-taking until the book is read? Or stop where I am and start rewriting?
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Not Writing Makes Me Not Happy
I didn't write last night. Or the night before. Or the night before that. Today, I'm feeling grumpy and annoyed. I'm not down on myself for breaking my writing streak, nor do I feel that all is lost and I can't go on anymore because I "failed." I just took a little break. Saturday night I was out of town, Sunday night I got back late from being out of town, and last night I just didn't wanna.
Skipping writing didn't mean the end of the world for me (yay! I've progressed), but I am missing that satisfaction it brings. That means I will write tonight! Gotta have something to talk about for WIP Wednesday tomorrow, after all.
I have also taken a few days off reading blogs, and I'm feeling lost. Time to catch up on what's been going on with everyone!
Skipping writing didn't mean the end of the world for me (yay! I've progressed), but I am missing that satisfaction it brings. That means I will write tonight! Gotta have something to talk about for WIP Wednesday tomorrow, after all.
I have also taken a few days off reading blogs, and I'm feeling lost. Time to catch up on what's been going on with everyone!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Work in Progress Wednesday #003
Not much has changed on my wip since last week. I've been keeping to my 15 minutes a day, even though every night I have wanted to just turn off the computer and go to bed. But I have kept at it because I do see that I'm making progress, and I don't want to not write and feel bad when I wake up the next morning.
Really, I should probably up my increments to 20 minutes, but because I've been a bit busy with work and because I don't always manage my time so well, it's all I can do to force an extra 15 into my day.
But I know I'm going to need chunks of time for the rewrites. I am practiced now at only taking a minute or two to get into the story, but if I need to really change a scene, I'm going to need mulling and writing time. I need to "stew" on the story, as Elana describes. Time to go back to my rough draft mindset and just throw a bunch of characters and situations together and see what works. It's fun to do that, because there is no wrong answer, but it also can be frustrating, because, well, eventually some of those answers do become wrong for your story.
As of last night I was on p. 61 of 191, so it looks like I got through about 30 pages. Does that mean at this rate, I'll be done going through the manuscript in five weeks? That's exciting. Oh man, if I had known I could make revising this easy on myself, I probably wouldn't have put it off for so many years.
Really, I should probably up my increments to 20 minutes, but because I've been a bit busy with work and because I don't always manage my time so well, it's all I can do to force an extra 15 into my day.
But I know I'm going to need chunks of time for the rewrites. I am practiced now at only taking a minute or two to get into the story, but if I need to really change a scene, I'm going to need mulling and writing time. I need to "stew" on the story, as Elana describes. Time to go back to my rough draft mindset and just throw a bunch of characters and situations together and see what works. It's fun to do that, because there is no wrong answer, but it also can be frustrating, because, well, eventually some of those answers do become wrong for your story.
As of last night I was on p. 61 of 191, so it looks like I got through about 30 pages. Does that mean at this rate, I'll be done going through the manuscript in five weeks? That's exciting. Oh man, if I had known I could make revising this easy on myself, I probably wouldn't have put it off for so many years.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Hmm, I can't think of a title for this post
Well, what writing-related thing can I talk about today?
It's NaNoEdMo. That's 50 hours of editing in March. I signed up in 2005 and 2006 but edited for about 3 hours then quit. Maybe I signed up for 2007. I don't remember. But I always started March with big dreams of revising my NaNo novel, only to become paralyzed by the thought of 50 hours in one month. It doesn't take me 50 hours to write a novel in November. It takes about 12.
So this year, with my newfound persistence and it's-becoming-a-habit writing routine, my personal goal is 25 hours. I know, it's not 50, but it's a big deal for me. As of today, I've edited 1 hour and 13 minutes.
In other writing news, I have been reading (yes, reading is essential for writing). I'm halfway through Cormac McCarthy's The Road. It's very good but very depressing. I'm constantly being reminded of the bitter cold and pitch-dark nights and lead skies and gray ash everywhere. Everything is dead, and I don't know what happened. I'm thinking maybe there will never be an explanation, why the world went dead and gray and frozen.
The blog chain last week was about torturing your characters, and I think The Road has it down. Last night I read this line: "Borrowed time and borrowed world and borrowed eyes with which to sorrow it." That pretty much sums up the story, so far. But I care about the man and the boy, and I hope they make it to...wherever there is left to make it.
Yay, now I'm sad! Off to find something happy to read.
It's NaNoEdMo. That's 50 hours of editing in March. I signed up in 2005 and 2006 but edited for about 3 hours then quit. Maybe I signed up for 2007. I don't remember. But I always started March with big dreams of revising my NaNo novel, only to become paralyzed by the thought of 50 hours in one month. It doesn't take me 50 hours to write a novel in November. It takes about 12.
So this year, with my newfound persistence and it's-becoming-a-habit writing routine, my personal goal is 25 hours. I know, it's not 50, but it's a big deal for me. As of today, I've edited 1 hour and 13 minutes.
In other writing news, I have been reading (yes, reading is essential for writing). I'm halfway through Cormac McCarthy's The Road. It's very good but very depressing. I'm constantly being reminded of the bitter cold and pitch-dark nights and lead skies and gray ash everywhere. Everything is dead, and I don't know what happened. I'm thinking maybe there will never be an explanation, why the world went dead and gray and frozen.
The blog chain last week was about torturing your characters, and I think The Road has it down. Last night I read this line: "Borrowed time and borrowed world and borrowed eyes with which to sorrow it." That pretty much sums up the story, so far. But I care about the man and the boy, and I hope they make it to...wherever there is left to make it.
Yay, now I'm sad! Off to find something happy to read.
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